In select theaters:

Who says Lost in Translation and Mr. Baseball have to be the only popular American movies about Japan? I've come up with plenty of gaijin-centric ideas:


Little Miss Moonshine: Beulah (Michelle Trachtenberg) is a hairy-knuckled, lazy-eyed exchange student from Wheeling, West Virginia. She develops a crush on her calligraphy teacher (B.D. Wong), and hopes to impress him by entering the school talent show. But when cool girl Satomi--Beulah's biggest romantic rival--enters the competition, Beulah finds out she has a lot to learn about life... and love. Who will win sensei's heart? A tense plate-spinning act reveals all! (PG)

For Her Eyes Only: Seeking a new life in the Far East, Gert (Eartha Kitt) has twelve grandchildren, recently-signed divorce papers, and a libido as active as her AARP membership. When she opens an onsen, she begins ogling the men through various holes in the walls, taking special interest in young, pasty tourist and pro croquet player, Gene (Neil Patrick Harris). Join Gert and Gene on the fun-filled romp Leah Rozen is calling "Harold and Maude, but with sushi and man-thongs! I loved it!" (PG-13)

The Unrecyclables: In the latest from Brian De Palma, the Yakuza pulverizes Del (Louie Anderson), a nosy Jehovah's Witness, and dumps his body outside a recycling center in downtown Tokyo. Little do they know, Del lives--and seeks revenge on those who left him for dead among the plastics and PET bottles! Teaming up with some fellow expats, including a wisecracking cabbie (Bill Bellamy) and a tranny stripper (RuPaul), Del and company are out to prove some waste... isn't biodegradable! (R)

Sapporo Swirl: Republican Presidential nominee John McCain (Leslie Nielsen in a fat suit) and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (RuPaul) are invited to Sapporo's Snow Festival as the ceremonies' Grand Marshals. When an avalanche leaves them confined to a small konbini, the two discover the best ways to stay warm: microwavable ramen, discussing pork-barrel spending, and each other. Watch the sparks fly in this Grand Old Par-tay! Now available in 3-D. (NC-17)