7:00 AM - Wake up to my cell phone alarm (a default ringtone called "Outstanding Employee") and crawl out of the chrysalis of warmth that is my electric blanket. Curse Japan and my apartment's lack of central heating.
7:10 AM - Stand naked in my freezing shower and wait for the gas to come on so I can bathe in heated water. While waiting, hop or run in place to keep internal temperature up and avoid digits and/or genitalia from freezing off my body.
7:45 AM - Drive to work with Christina in our glorified golf cart.
8:15 AM - Arrive at school. Enter the teacher's room (the only heated room in the school) and rejoice.
8:20 AM - Morning meeting. Everyone stands up and says "Ohayou gozaimasu!" ("Good morning!") and about four different people give announcements in breakneck Japanese simultaneously. (At first, this part was chaotic, but now I just tune everyone out and think about what I'll have for lunch.)
8:50 AM - 12:40 PM - Morning classes.
12:50 PM - Walk over to the sandwich shop to grab some lunch. (Students have remarked that eating a sandwich and potato chips for lunch is "strange" and "cute," among other things. I should probably start eating a bento like everyone else, but I kind of like baffling people with my ham on white, potato sticks and the rest of my Western eating habits.)
1:15 PM - Lunch begins to wrap up, and teachers usually begin brushing their teeth or clipping their nails in the middle of the teachers' room. (?! This was really weird at first too. I guess they could be doing worse things, though... like cleaning out their belly buttons or filing their corns.)
1:25 PM - 3:15 PM - Afternoon lessons.
3:20 PM - Cleaning time! Students clean the entire school, empty trash cans, sweep and perform other such custodial tasks for about a half hour while the school song plays on the loudspeaker.
4:00 PM - Go home!
4:30 - 1:00 AM - Sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing. Listen to NPR, play Chrono Trigger DS (What's up with those new sidequests, by the way? Redundant much?), talk to friends, Facebook, unearth YouTube gems, relax, burn incense, eat grocery store tempura and corn dogs (called "American dogs" around here), etc.
My apologies if this post is a touch negative. I really shouldn't be complaining, I guess. "Winter" in Shizuoka sees a tepid 40 degree average, while the American Midwest is enduring -30 windchill, so Ma Nature's on my side. I suppose I'm a little homesick, and the isolation is really starting to get to me.
But wait! I get paid this week! And I'm going strawberry-picking this weekend, plus I've started to book spring break flights. Sweet, ne?
Wishing he could be in the States for Obamarama,
Buraiyan-sensei
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Filet-o-Sea Kitten!
I wonder how well this new PETA campaign would go over here in the land of sashimi...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
No touchy!
I'm in the language lab on the top floor of school, killing time before class. We show English movies in this class, and students must listen and fill in blanks in the script, answer comprehension questions, and so forth. I'm showing them The Emperor's New Groove, which happens to be one of my favorite Disney movies--the humor is much more Warner Bros. than it is Disney. (And how can you dismiss anything with Patrick Wharburton in it? He's freakin' Putty!)
I don't think all the jokes translate very well, however... especially anything to do with sarcasm, considering the concept does not exist in this country. One time in conversation class, we had to endure listening to the text's accompanying CD and its wooden deliveries for ten minutes. "Wow, they're pretty good actors," I tell my JTE in a tone that bordered acidic. "Oh... you... you think so?" was his bewildered response.
In other news, I've officially become fed up with my deplorable diet, which has recently consisted of Nerds and konbini pizza pockets. (You know you go to the convenience store for dinner too often when the lady at the register goes wide-eyed and tells you "Wow, you're early!") I miss reasonably priced groceries, having a decently equipped kitchen, and produce that stays good for longer than a day.
Whaddya reckon the chances are of a Harris-Teeter or Kroger opening up around these parts?
I don't think all the jokes translate very well, however... especially anything to do with sarcasm, considering the concept does not exist in this country. One time in conversation class, we had to endure listening to the text's accompanying CD and its wooden deliveries for ten minutes. "Wow, they're pretty good actors," I tell my JTE in a tone that bordered acidic. "Oh... you... you think so?" was his bewildered response.
In other news, I've officially become fed up with my deplorable diet, which has recently consisted of Nerds and konbini pizza pockets. (You know you go to the convenience store for dinner too often when the lady at the register goes wide-eyed and tells you "Wow, you're early!") I miss reasonably priced groceries, having a decently equipped kitchen, and produce that stays good for longer than a day.
Whaddya reckon the chances are of a Harris-Teeter or Kroger opening up around these parts?
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Home again, home again, jiggity jig
Akemashite omedetou! (Happy New Year!)
Currently I'm sitting on my ass in front of my oscillating space heater, eating care package Smarties and drinking out of a Coke 2-liter. Not the healthiest or most productive kick-off to 2009, but after my whirlwind tour of Southeast Asia, it's welcome R&R.
So much stuff happened on that trip, it's absolutely dizzying. I'll have to spread recounting the hijinks over many posts. For now, however, I'm going back to enjoying my three-day-weekend with my first world creature comforts. Like clean tap water and Facebook and doughnuts.
Currently I'm sitting on my ass in front of my oscillating space heater, eating care package Smarties and drinking out of a Coke 2-liter. Not the healthiest or most productive kick-off to 2009, but after my whirlwind tour of Southeast Asia, it's welcome R&R.
So much stuff happened on that trip, it's absolutely dizzying. I'll have to spread recounting the hijinks over many posts. For now, however, I'm going back to enjoying my three-day-weekend with my first world creature comforts. Like clean tap water and Facebook and doughnuts.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Out of Office
Hello readers!
I'll be backpacking in SE Asia until January 5, so updates might be (even more) scarce! So long, Japanese inaka, hello rain forests, tuk tuks and malaria!
Happy Holidays to you and yours!
B
I'll be backpacking in SE Asia until January 5, so updates might be (even more) scarce! So long, Japanese inaka, hello rain forests, tuk tuks and malaria!
Happy Holidays to you and yours!
B
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Better not pout
Today in conversation class:
Me: "So who knows what Santa brings you if you're naughty?"
Students: "Dead chickens! Chicken heads!"
Me: "?!" (turning to my JTE, expecting some kind of explanation)
JTE: "Actually, I've heard that, too..."
What the hell? Where do these people get their information? The thought of getting a lump of coal made me nervous enough as a kid--but bloody, plucked chicken carcasses would've scared me shitless. Thankfully, yuletide traditions in America are a little less gruesome and a little more PETA-friendly. Chickens deserve peace on Earth, too, don't they?
Me: "So who knows what Santa brings you if you're naughty?"
Students: "Dead chickens! Chicken heads!"
Me: "?!" (turning to my JTE, expecting some kind of explanation)
JTE: "Actually, I've heard that, too..."
What the hell? Where do these people get their information? The thought of getting a lump of coal made me nervous enough as a kid--but bloody, plucked chicken carcasses would've scared me shitless. Thankfully, yuletide traditions in America are a little less gruesome and a little more PETA-friendly. Chickens deserve peace on Earth, too, don't they?
Monday, December 8, 2008
Bryan gains a level! Bryan learns Fire 3!
I found this online and laughed out loud more times than I would like to admit. Geez... I don't think people realize how much of a geek I actually am. I just need a tie clip and a healthy dose of facial papules, and can join the rest of my stereotypically dweeby brethren at Borders to play Magic: The Gathering until close. Then we'll go to Todd's house to watch Xena for four hours. Maybe his mom will make us Lean Pockets again...
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Get yer kicks
I've decided that sometime in the next three years, I want to road trip across the continental U.S.
I'm thinking (the now imaginary) Route 66, or maybe something like this. Why this sudden urge, you ask? My recent homesickness has left me longing for my home culture, and what better way to celebrate it than greasy diner food, kitschy Americana and the open road? Granted, I'll either have to be unemployed or have some flexible dream job that will let me go on this month-long sabbatical, but I'll make it happen. I made Japan happen, didn't I?
Speaking of trips: This is so cool.
I'm thinking (the now imaginary) Route 66, or maybe something like this. Why this sudden urge, you ask? My recent homesickness has left me longing for my home culture, and what better way to celebrate it than greasy diner food, kitschy Americana and the open road? Granted, I'll either have to be unemployed or have some flexible dream job that will let me go on this month-long sabbatical, but I'll make it happen. I made Japan happen, didn't I?
Speaking of trips: This is so cool.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Temples 'n ta-tas
One of the highlights of my Kyoto trip last September was Kinkakuji, or the Golden Pavilion.
The place was overrun by tourists, but it was still cool. Would've liked to see it in winter, though--bet the gold leaf really pops against the snow. The temple, one of over 60 in Kyoto, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site (basically the entire city of Kyoto is--not kidding), so it's no wonder it gets a lot of foot traffic.
It was originally built at the end of the 14th century, but burnt down in the 1950s by a crazy ass monk. Wow, arson--now is that what Wally Cleaver would've done? Thankfully it was rebuilt in all its glory, and stands proud as Kyoto's not-so-hidden gilded treasure.
And now for something completely different. Move over Snorks, there's a new breed of cute creatures in town, and they're chock full of areola, fatty tissue and milk ducts! It's Funwari Milk Chan!
Girls! Why settle for a ho-hum Raggedy Ann or Malibu Barbie when you can play with your very own, breast-tastic friend? These likable love sacks hail from the far off Milk Village, speaking their native Milkan. Funwari Milk Chan come in five fun personalities, including the rough-around-the-edges "Tanned Milk-chan." She's the one with the piercing, if you're into that kinda thing!
The place was overrun by tourists, but it was still cool. Would've liked to see it in winter, though--bet the gold leaf really pops against the snow. The temple, one of over 60 in Kyoto, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site (basically the entire city of Kyoto is--not kidding), so it's no wonder it gets a lot of foot traffic.
It was originally built at the end of the 14th century, but burnt down in the 1950s by a crazy ass monk. Wow, arson--now is that what Wally Cleaver would've done? Thankfully it was rebuilt in all its glory, and stands proud as Kyoto's not-so-hidden gilded treasure.
And now for something completely different. Move over Snorks, there's a new breed of cute creatures in town, and they're chock full of areola, fatty tissue and milk ducts! It's Funwari Milk Chan!
Girls! Why settle for a ho-hum Raggedy Ann or Malibu Barbie when you can play with your very own, breast-tastic friend? These likable love sacks hail from the far off Milk Village, speaking their native Milkan. Funwari Milk Chan come in five fun personalities, including the rough-around-the-edges "Tanned Milk-chan." She's the one with the piercing, if you're into that kinda thing!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Rabbit rabbit rabbit!
Happy Belated Turkey Day, readers! Hard to believe it's already the first of yet another month--and December, to boot! I've been here for a third of a year! My time in Japan may be flying by, and as much as I want to savor every fleeting moment, I'm really missing home in a lot of ways. For example, my kitchen certainly did not see the traditional day-long Thanksgiving repas this year. Instead, I celebrated autumn's harvest at the KFC off Route 150, wet naps and all. "Nature surely doth bless me with her bounty!" I thought to myself, ripping open packaged ketchup with my teeth.
Anyways, I went to Shizuoka City a couple of weeks ago to buy a winter coat, and ran into some great street performances! And by "great," I mean abstruse and disturbing.
I don't think anyone really knew what to make of this guy (gal?), whose act consisted of dressing up like someone's kinky harlequin fantasy, scattering assorted weapons about on the sidewalk, and staring at individual audience members for an uncomfortable 30 seconds apiece. I decided to move on when he stood on his trunk and started spraying foam in the air.
This guy, on the other hand, was the shit. I've never seen such things done with a yo-yo before. Apologies, my keitai was not built to capture action shots, so you really had to be there. It reminded me of the turn of the millennium, when yo-yos were in. Needless to say, this dude was a bit more skilled than my brother and I were with our Duncans, trying to "go around the world" or "walk the dog" for Pokemon cards. Funny how such a simple device like a yo-yo can be manipulated to do amazing things, when in the right hands, anyways. Cool desu!
It's Colonel Kringle!
A monk inside the basement of Shizuoka Station. I've always loved how these guys look... the hat, which invariably keeps their eyes out of view, makes them look so enigmatic and solemnly stoic. They're anonymous anachronisms in the middle of the ultra-modern Japan, keeping its rich history alive with every 100 yen coin collected. So awesome. Yet another thing you just don't see in America... y'know?
So other than unsatisfying Thanksgivings and weird city culture, not much is new here. Christmas decorations are up everywhere, which doesn't help my homesickness. At least I'll be with friends and on the move in Southeast Asia on Christmas Day.
Speaking of which, can these Thai protesters leave already? It's an obnoxious and totally inappropriate way to have a sit-in, though they sure did get the attention they wanted. I'm pissed, but maybe I shouldn't complain about the political situation of a country I don't really know anything about. It's inconvenient, nonetheless. And counterproductive--if these people want to help their country by removing a leader they believe to be corrupt, then why are they crippling their nation's biggest industry? Aren't they doing Thailand more harm than good? Makes no sense to me, but then again, not much does anymore. I just don't want to spend another grand on backup tickets.
Peace for now!
B
Anyways, I went to Shizuoka City a couple of weeks ago to buy a winter coat, and ran into some great street performances! And by "great," I mean abstruse and disturbing.
I don't think anyone really knew what to make of this guy (gal?), whose act consisted of dressing up like someone's kinky harlequin fantasy, scattering assorted weapons about on the sidewalk, and staring at individual audience members for an uncomfortable 30 seconds apiece. I decided to move on when he stood on his trunk and started spraying foam in the air.
This guy, on the other hand, was the shit. I've never seen such things done with a yo-yo before. Apologies, my keitai was not built to capture action shots, so you really had to be there. It reminded me of the turn of the millennium, when yo-yos were in. Needless to say, this dude was a bit more skilled than my brother and I were with our Duncans, trying to "go around the world" or "walk the dog" for Pokemon cards. Funny how such a simple device like a yo-yo can be manipulated to do amazing things, when in the right hands, anyways. Cool desu!
It's Colonel Kringle!
A monk inside the basement of Shizuoka Station. I've always loved how these guys look... the hat, which invariably keeps their eyes out of view, makes them look so enigmatic and solemnly stoic. They're anonymous anachronisms in the middle of the ultra-modern Japan, keeping its rich history alive with every 100 yen coin collected. So awesome. Yet another thing you just don't see in America... y'know?
So other than unsatisfying Thanksgivings and weird city culture, not much is new here. Christmas decorations are up everywhere, which doesn't help my homesickness. At least I'll be with friends and on the move in Southeast Asia on Christmas Day.
Speaking of which, can these Thai protesters leave already? It's an obnoxious and totally inappropriate way to have a sit-in, though they sure did get the attention they wanted. I'm pissed, but maybe I shouldn't complain about the political situation of a country I don't really know anything about. It's inconvenient, nonetheless. And counterproductive--if these people want to help their country by removing a leader they believe to be corrupt, then why are they crippling their nation's biggest industry? Aren't they doing Thailand more harm than good? Makes no sense to me, but then again, not much does anymore. I just don't want to spend another grand on backup tickets.
Peace for now!
B
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